Submission 257

Dear Nancy,

I often ask myself where I would even begin catching you up on everything you’ve missed. You’re an auntie, a role I know you’d have absolutely loved. I still can’t bring myself to delete our texts and you’re still saved in my speed dial list, I’m not sure why but it would just feel wrong to delete you. Emily and I still have a vodka coke for you on your birthday every year - even when we are on different continents. You’ll be pleased to know I find them as revolting as I always did, which makes it even more fitting as you’d be laughing at me struggling to drink it. I wish I could have made things easier for you, in any way at all - I’m so sorry that I couldn’t. I often battle with feeling selfish for wanting you to still be here, knowing how badly you were struggling and suffering. Whenever I see Gertie or Gertrude written anywhere I still think of you, our little inside joke. I love you so much, I hope you’d be proud of the life I’m building - I just wish you were still here in it with me xxxx