Submission 252
To My Friend
There is not a day that goes by where I do not think of you. I do not blame you, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to help you through that day. I’m grateful to have had you as a friend for so long, and I’m proud of you.
Submission 251
Dad,
Dear Dad,
It’s been years since you left, but not a single day has gone by without your absence being felt. Since 2013, life has moved on around me, but there’s a part of me that’s been frozen in time—stuck in that moment when everything changed.
Submission 250
Mum,
Nearly a year after your last breath I still struggle to find the words to describe how I feel. You’ve left a huge void, but at the same time you are constantly on my mind, like a relentless echo, “mum, what have you done?!”…”mum, I love you”… “mum, please forgive me for missing your last call”.
Submission 249
Dearest El,
I miss you, I think I always will. I'm so, so sorry, beautiful. You never deserved that pain. You were such a kind and funny friend, and I'm truly, deeply sorry it ended the way it did. I hope where you are now is as beautiful and stunning as you are.
Submission 248
To My Beautiful Aunt,
We weren’t always close. Yet I felt the urge to write this letter.
I think of you often, you were such a kind soul - a failed one at that. I remember just before you had passed I had wanted to see you, as it had been so long since I had last. I felt as if that was some sort of sign that I should have listened to, and I blame myself for not visiting you sooner.
I was 14 when I lost you and now I'm 21. I’m sorry the system failed you. You should have never died, or died alone. You had your whole life ahead of you and I hate that you never got to see that. I know you were never the same after your mothers death so I don't blame you for going.
Submission 247
To My Forever,
I think about you so often. I think about the moments that I fight to remember. I think about the time we were so out of it under the stars, talking like life together would’ve lasted forever. I think about when you made me promise to continue life for us both incase something happened to you.
Submission 246
To my Best Friend,
At times it feels like you’ve been gone for so long, but sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday. The shock of losing you is like nothing I’ve ever felt. I knew things had been difficult but I never thought it would come to this. When you died, I felt angry that you hadn’t confided in me like you always had. Why was this time different? I felt like you were selfish and had ruined all our lives. I wish you’d just waited, in the morning things would have looked differently. I also felt guilty that I’d rushed you off the phone that day. Two years later I feel differently. I’m just so sad you’re gone, and you have already missed so much. I miss my best friend. I’ve really needed you at times, and my life is so different now. I wish you could see that.
Submission 245
Dear B
I’m writing this as we celebrate your birthday for another year— without you. There are so many things in this life that remind me of you, trigger a memory, small or big. Suddenly my eyes fill up with tears. I cry less frequently than I did in the first year, but I can still feel my breath catch in the back of my throat when I think about you, your laugh, your shoes, the way you sat on the couch, the constant twirling of your beard, the way you fit into my life.
Submission 244
To the funniest person I knew,
Hey. It’s been over a year now since you left. I remember the first day we met, we instantly connected. The way you’d light up an entire room without even trying is something I’ll never forget. I remember you telling me that one day you wanted to be a singer/rapper. I hope that wherever the universe put you now, you’re living that dream. I’m so sorry that life was never fair to you. I’m sorry that I didn’t reach out more once we both went back to our homes. I still feel your light on the days where things feel so dark. I can hear you telling me to keep going. So I will. I promise, I will. And someday, when my time is up, I hope we can laugh together again. Miss you every day, kid.
Submission 243
To My Best Friend,
Kayden... you were my best friend, I remember spending every night staying on call with you and soon falling asleep. We used to talk about everything together. I'm so glad I met you. And I can't wait to see you on the other side when I pass of old age in the future.
Submission 242
Dad,
Nothing is the same since you left us. There is a void that cannot be filled, and the world has changed.
I’m sorry you suffered for 2 years, you became a shell of the funny, charismatic Dad we once knew. It was nothing short of heartbreaking to watch you fall deeper into the darkness ,despite your efforts to get well again. You really did try, and I know that.
I want you to know I’m not angry, I understand you could no longer take the thoughts, and the torment of your mind, but the day you chose to end your pain, ours truly began. There is no pain like it.
Submission 241
Dad,
There aren't enough words I could put to paper, enough time in the world, or enough lifetimes that could hold the infinate amount of love I have for you.
Submission 240
Dear G,
You meant something to me, to all of us. I am so sorry we let you down this week. You left a hole no one could fill.
Submission 239
To my handsome love,
It's been five years, Joaquin is now 9 and Iséla is 7. They were 4 and 2 when you ended your life. As I watch our baby boy grow, he is hitting the age where he needs his dad to help him navigate through the boy/manly stuff
My memory always wanders back to the conversation we had at our old house sitting on our couch. We were talking about your broken relationship with your own dad.
You looked at Joaquin, touched his hair and said that every boy needs his dad. I'm always going to be here for him.
Submission 238
Dear Grady,
I didn't get to know you very well before you died, but you've been in my head every day since. I'd like to think we'd have been friends. I remember your laughter in school and your smile. I remember watching you and your brother walk across the field together. We share a battle that I hope you knew you weren't alone in. What did you think in your last moments? Was it off childhood, of home and friends and dirt bikes and skateboarding? Was it fear and sadness so pervasive that death was a deity? I love you, Grady. And I always will.
Submission 237
To my wee Scottish pal,
Somedays it feels like a million years ago that you passed away but other days it feels exactly like the actual 1889 days ago that you passed away and I can feel every moment of those 1889 days.
Every time something happens either good or bad I always want to call you or message you.
Submission 236
Dear Dad,
We’re all really proud of you. We really are, please don’t be sad when you overlook us from above. We know that you are looking down at us, smiling proudly…We all can see the smile, we know that you are not gone…
Submission 235
To My Beautiful Big Brother,
It’s been just over 8 months since you left this world. I know you thought it was the best decision at the time but you will never truly understand how much we all love you and how much we all miss you.
Submission 234
Dear Karl,
It has been 5 years and this month you would have been 25. After what you put me through prior to your passing, I doubt we would be friends now. You may have achieved your dream of being in medical school to become a GP, one who would listen without judgement, understand and do everything he could to help.
I don't know if I miss you but I do wish you were still alive. I miss your humour. I miss seeing you sit in the garden, smoking and feeding the sparrows. I miss how you were always so kind, so gentle, so ready to help people.
I live my life for you now. I am out of the closet, and proud. I try and help people however I can, support their dreams. No one in my life now knew you, but hopefully they know your spirit and energy through me.
Submission 233
To my darling Paul,
I miss you in ways even words cannot understand.
Always and forever
Your Dawn
xxx<3xxx