Submission 248

To my beautiful aunt,

We weren’t always close. Yet I felt the urge to write this letter. 

I think of you often, you were such a kind soul - a failed one at that. I remember just before you had passed I had wanted to see you, as it had been so long since I had last. I felt as if that was some sort of sign that I should have listened to, and I blame myself for not visiting you sooner. I was 14 when I lost you and now I'm 21. I’m sorry the system failed you. You should have never died, or died alone. You had your whole life ahead of you and I hate that you never got to see that. I know you were never the same after your mothers death so I don't blame you for going. I struggled to come to terms with your absence but I forgive you for letting go. You might not have always been the perfect aunt, but you tried. You were under-appreciated and I want you to know how dearly I loved you. I’m sorry. I was there the night you died, I found you. Your lips were so blue and your hands so steady. I shouldn’t have seen you so young but I hope you were resting peacefully and eternally. I’m always thinking of you. You were just a girl. You didn’t want to die, you just didn’t want to suffer. 

If I could go back. I would save you, but I can't, and so I hope you’re resting above with the angels. I hope they tell you of me. You’re the reason that I carry on, we can’t both be a statistic. I’ll live for you. I'm struggling too - but I will live because you couldn’t. I will tell everyone about you to ensure that your essence is never forgotten. Your memory is cherished through me.

Take care of my brother. If he asks about me, tell him I'm okay and that I am waiting for him just as he is waiting for me. Once again, I am so sorry this world has failed you. You didn’t deserve to die alone. I know your sister regrets having that fight with you and your others for abandoning you. I’m sorry we all failed you. I’ll visit you soon. Until then, rest forever in peace, my beloved Aunt. I love you. Fi Amanillah.