Submission 154
Dearest Tommy
I look for you everyday. In every bird I see. In every phase of the moon that passes. I wait for a sign from you. For your voice to ring in my ear. For you to walk through my door. The world seems to be moving but I am stationary. I hear laughter around me but I scream silently in my head. Will I ever be happy again? I miss you with every fibre of my being. I love you unconditionally.
How can you be gone? I move through life only to see you again. The day you left me was the day my heart slowed down and changed to a whimper. I am still here but I am a shadow of myself. Your nephew recognises pictures of you and cuddles them. He has started walking now and chats so much. He is the very image of you.
Submission 153
Darling boy
It’s been four months and eight days since that summers day in August when you left us behind.
The days don’t get easier I wish I could say they did but they don’t well at least not for me.
Submission 152
Dear Dad,
I will never understand why you decided to leave me here alone, just 5 days away from Christmas.
Submission 151
Dear My Brother Stephen
NO MATTER WHAT IL ALWAYS BE STOOD WITH YOU.THERE WHERE SO MANY THINGS I WANTED TO SAY TO YOU. YOU TRIED TO THRIVE AND IN THE END YOU JUST COULDN’T SURVIVE.
Submission 150
Dear Ali
During my darkest days you were a bright light despite how much you were struggling too.
Submission 149
Dear Dad
I lost you when I was too young to comprehend why you were gone. A seven year old girl had to grow up too fast and knew too much darkness way too young. The word suicide shouldn’t have meant anything to me, but it meant everything.
Submission 148
To my sweet brother
It has only been two months. Two months since our family lost your sweet soul. There are so many things I regret. I regret not asking you how you were doing everyday, ignoring some texts, and most of all I regret not seeing what you were going through. You were always smiling.
Submission 147
To my oldest friend,
It is so hard to put into words all the feelings I have. I just want you to know that it doesn't matter how many years have past, I still think about you any time something good happens in any of our lives, there is a gaping hole where you would be to celebrate all the engagements and promotions (not mine lol). I also think about you everytime something bad or stupid happens.
Submission 146
Dear Mom
I want you to know that I’m not angry, nor have I ever been with you since you left. All I felt was great sadness. Sadness for what you must have been feeling, for feeling so alone and for being alone in what must have been one of the hardest and darkest of moments. I don’t know if anything we could have said or done would have changed your mind, but I wish I could have been there to hold your hand through it.
I wish I could have seen the signs.
Submission 145
Dear Andrew
There isn't a day that goes by when I do not think of you.I try and think about the good times and how we laughed, the mischief we made, but I am sorry to say that I am still consumed with anger. You have changed mine, my mum and dad's and my husband's lives for ever in so many different and diverse ways.
Submission 144
To My Darling Boy
Your death has no explanation, all I know for sure is that I will never see your beautiful blue eyes, feel your huge hugs or hear your voice again.
Submission 143
To my darling dearest,
You left so suddenly, without a goodbye. There's so many things I still wanted to tell you, so many things I still wanted to do with you, so many years of life I still wanted to share with you.
Just 3 days before you left this world we started looking at where to get married, with the way we were talking and our excitement I'd say we'd be married by now if you were still here. We had our jokey engagement which I'm pretty sure would've ended up being the real thing. I didn't care how we did it, the engagement, marriage, any of it.
Submission 142
To my father figure,
You told me you would always be here for me, no matter what but the darkness won
You were the father I never had and I will spend a lifetime thinking of the goodbyes I never got to say
Submission 141
To my brother, my best friend
It will be 2 years soon 12th December 2020 and the days do not get any easier. I long for the day I can wrap my arms around you and tell you how much I miss you and love you so much.
Submission 140
Dear Emma
Tired. Broken. Lost.
That’s how I’ve felt every day since losing you. I don’t think I will ever accept what has happened, and that you are gone.
Submission 139
To my daddy,
I miss you so much. 8 years without you and my heart hurts.
I have a dad shaped hole in my life but you are my biggest inspiration and I am trying to help people like you. I have done so much over the last 8 years and I would have loved to have had you there with me. But everything I do, you are in my thoughts and I carry your love and strength with me everyday.
You were an amazing man and I will ensure nobody ever forgets the kind, gentle and caring man that taught me so much.
Submission 138
Dear Tom
I was not ready to let you go. I’m not angry with you, how could do I be.
You were the the light of my my life the laughter in my heart, always being daft yet intelligent.
Submission 137
Dad,
It’s taken me a little while to have the courage to write this letter.
In my head I talk to you every day, but somehow having to summarise the last eight years without you didn’t seem possible.
Submission 136
Dear Ryan
Its only been 3 months, 1 week and 1 day since I last held you, heard your voice and said I love you son. Life is unbearable with out you.
Submission 135
Dear Grandad,
It’s been really hard without you. Mum was saying these really nice things about you then burst into tears like I did yesterday. Mum is so devastated :(