Submission 134
Dear Grandad,
I really miss you nothing is the same without you we all miss you. I think of you every day. Rest in peace grandad. P.s I will always love you! I am super proud of you :)
Submission 133
My brother
How I wish this was another of your jokes, I don't think I'd even mind if it was. But here we are, 8 months on, and the many people I think may be you, have always turned round & never been you.
Submission 132
Dear my wee Scottish pal,
It’s been 2 tarts since you’ve gone and it only feel like yesterday that I got the call, I can still hear the screams in my mum and dad’s kitchen when I close my eyes as that’s where I was when I found out, I miss you mate, it was never meant to end like this
Submission 131
My Bestie,
From the moment you said hi to me on that first day of school, I knew we were going to have something great. I wasn't wrong, either. We were stuck together like glue. Through school, university, studying abroad, jobs, moving homes, falling in and out of love; you and me were a constant.
Submission 130
To my darling sis
There are things I'd like to say to you,
I would want you to know,
You are loved unconditionally…
Submission 129
To my boyfriend,
It’s almost 3 and a half years since you left.You were 19. We had known each other since we were both 11 years old. I had no idea of the pain you were carrying but you knew about mine.
Submission 128
Dear C,
There’s so many things that’ve been left unsaid, it’s hard to know where to start. The clarity with which suicide focuses the mind onto what I most want you to know is only balanced out by the amount of things I want to share with you - the list of which will continue to grow for as long as there’s breath in my body.
Submission 127
Dear Dad,
It’s been 17 years without you now and some things become easier and some become harder. People say the pain never lessens but it does, the rough waves just become further apart and there is more time to breathe before the next one crashes.
Submission 126
To my Luke,
Its been over two years but my heart aches the same. I keep looking for answers and can never seem to find them, I can only hope that you are at peace. I wish that one day I learn to understand why you did this but for now I take comfort in thinking you just fell asleep. I hope you are at peace, I hope heaven is everything you ever dreamed off.
I have so much to tell you, I wish I could just have one last conversation. I had a baby, she is amazing I’m convinced you sent her to me, she is everything I ever dreamed off and she has saved me from letting the grief take over. I have a new house and a new job, I’m really trying to turn everything around.
Submission 125
Dear Erne,
I find it hard to put in words how much I miss you. The day you left us you took a part of each of us. Months and years has past and we are since trying to figure out who we are now without you.I would trade anything in this world just to see you one last time.
Submission 124
Dad,
Well this is what you chose. I hope in the end you felt you had made the right choice and that it wasn’t too painful.
Submission 123
To my brother,
There isn’t a single day I don’t think about you. My heart just isn’t full anymore. I wish I could of saved you, we all do. I should of asked you if you thought about leaving! I didn’t because I didn’t think you ever would. I know you suffered but I didn’t ever think it would come to this.
Submission 122
Dearest husband,
I still can't believe you're gone, its been nearly 3 years. You suffered so much during our 17yrs together, but I never thought we'd lose you to suicide.
Submission 121
Dear Flynn,
I miss you. In everything I do, I miss you.I will never understand why you chose to go, if you fully understood what you were doing. You were so young. It’s been a year, and I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that you’re gone forever.
Submission 120
Dear Steph,
It’s been a while since we lost you.Your birthday is coming up, we will celebrate in style for you I promise. Sometimes I understand why you did it, but other days I’m fuming . That you couldn’t have waited 2 weeks, till I was back, so that I could’ve seen you one last time and given you the worlds biggest hug before you went. But I know you were desperate to see your mum again, and in a lot of pain.
As time passes, you feel further and further away. Something happens and I realise you will never know about it, that’s the hardest thing. Im so scared to lose my memories of you.
Submission 119
Dear Caroline Flack,
I miss you so much. You were a huge part of my life and continue to be. I have a million things I wish I could tell you. I visit your memorial benches and leave gifts but nothing will ever be enough
Submission 118
Dear Arthur,
I have hated every day since you left. Anything I hold in my hand I want to throw across the room. I cannot register the fact you are no longer alive. I miss hugs. I miss being a big sister to you.
Submission 117
To My Darling Daddio,
Nothing in the world could've prepared me for losing you, ever. Losing you to suicide was something I never saw coming and ultimately would never ever be ready for.
Submission 116
18th birthday,
Your light shines brightly through the tears of sadness through the aching pain of loss, through the ‘what ifs’, ‘What should’ve been’, What could’ve been’.I remember your beautiful smile, Your warm hugs your tinkling laugh, the way you called my name.I scour through my memories for those days of laughter and bustle, the four of you together bouncing off each other’s joy. The energy that only four carefree cousins could share.
Submission 115
My baby
My beautiful baby, I am so sorry that you felt that much pain,I am so sorry that you gave up when you had so much potential . I would have made it all go away , I always did and always would.