Submission 198
To My Only Aunt,
on march the 14th you went to work. and then the post office. for a long time i held unnecessary anger towards those who saw you that day, did they sense something? i have since faced the fact that nobody knew; i wish i could say differently. i wish to shop in a florida mall with you again and to dance to stevie nicks one more time. you were, and will always ever be my only aunt. i have unlearned blankly staring and spacing out when the word "aunt" is used in conversation, i have unlearned hating the universe for putting you in this situation, i have unlearned hating myself for how i treated you before you died.
Submission 160
Hey Caroline…
Just me again, writing another one of my letters to you. It’s now been three years since you left. Just saying out loud - "three years" - doesn’t compute properly in my head. Three years is, after all, a long time - and it’s supposed to feel as such. But the nature of loss distorts our perception of time. Where once three years would feature many adventures - all of which would be documented into the mind in the vivid colour of the variety of emotions felt within that time - grief has a habit of homogenising our emotions, for the most dominent in any given situation is that of yearning for you to be present.
Submission 159
Dear Shane,
Dear Shane, your mam (my sister) was pregnant with you at the same time I was pregnant with my son, there were just a few months between you and growing up you were more like brothers than cousins. As you got older you went your separate ways but just picked it up again when you met up. Shane you were always the loud one, the lads lad, always laughing and lit up the room, I had such a soft spot for you.
Submission 157
C,
I miss you. So many people miss you. Life has been less than since you left. Everyday is less fun, less joyous, less happy, less sunshine, less beautiful. It's hard to make sense of the fact you don't know any of what happened in the last 3 years. How do you simply not exist anymore?
Submission 135
Dear Grandad,
It’s been really hard without you. Mum was saying these really nice things about you then burst into tears like I did yesterday. Mum is so devastated :(
Submission 134
Dear Grandad,
I really miss you nothing is the same without you we all miss you. I think of you every day. Rest in peace grandad. P.s I will always love you! I am super proud of you :)
Submission 128
Dear C,
There’s so many things that’ve been left unsaid, it’s hard to know where to start. The clarity with which suicide focuses the mind onto what I most want you to know is only balanced out by the amount of things I want to share with you - the list of which will continue to grow for as long as there’s breath in my body.
Submission 119
Dear Caroline Flack,
I miss you so much. You were a huge part of my life and continue to be. I have a million things I wish I could tell you. I visit your memorial benches and leave gifts but nothing will ever be enough
Submission 116
18th birthday,
Your light shines brightly through the tears of sadness through the aching pain of loss, through the ‘what ifs’, ‘What should’ve been’, What could’ve been’.I remember your beautiful smile, Your warm hugs your tinkling laugh, the way you called my name.I scour through my memories for those days of laughter and bustle, the four of you together bouncing off each other’s joy. The energy that only four carefree cousins could share.
Submission 113
J,
We miss you so much, every day we talk about you. I wish I could have done more to help you when you were suffering. All I can hope is that you are now at peace.
Submission 98
Dear Dan,
Not a day goes by where I don't think about you. Where I think about us. What we could have been, where we could have gone, what we could have done...together. But now I am alone.
Submission 74
Louise,
Born just nine months apart I feel like you were always there, my cousin, my best friend throughout childhood and into adulthood.
Submission 52
Dear Johan,
We met when we were 10, we were almost the exact same age with only 20 days between us. We didn't 'take' to one another right away but over time, we grew close. We spent an intense few weeks together before you joined the South African army at the age of 17 to serve in Angola - a horrible war. We agreed to write to one another and we did - regularly.
Submission 49
Mike,
You were always a bundle of energy and enthusiasm and some one people longed to be around. We are sad you are no longer in our lives but sadder you felt you had to go.
Submission 09
F,
I think about you a lot. You left such an impression on me at quite a young age and I've always been so grateful, even though I can't quite pinpoint why. I think it's just because you were just so unapologetically 'you' and you were able to say so much without saying much at all.
Submission 08
Dear Kian,
It’s been 1 year, and 7 months and it hasn’t gotten any easier without you here. You’re on my mind every hour of every day, I often wonder what I would say to you, and today 04/04/2022 this is how I feel.
Submission 02
Dear Aeva,
It's going on 2 years…well you left us June of 2020 exactly 1 month after your 15th birthday.
I remember the day, like it happened today…your Grandpa Dave called me…it was 10:47 am, I was trying to get ready for work..I wasn't feeling quite right..kind of sick feeling.