Submission 261

Brother,

Missing you has become a part of me, my person, and my story. Your guidance, whilst not here, has pushed me through the darkest of days and shaped me into who I am. I love talking about you, maybe that's the part of you that lives within me - you still want to be the life of the party. The stories will be passed down for generations, and your name will never be forgotten.
We all have our days, where the gaping hole you left takes over and sits in a quiet, empty room waiting for you to burst through the door and let out the most contagious of laughs or outrageous of stories, something that could only ever happen to you. It's those days where the lack of acceptance creeps in, and I realise you won't ever be home. It's okay, I've settled with the fact that my brain battles with your loss. It knows you're gone, but the teeniest part of it wants to convince itself otherwise.
I graduate next year. Crazy how time flies. 10 years on, a decade later, and the 11-year-old girl whose world fell apart on that night will be looking out onto a crowd of people searching for a face that isn't there. I know you will be though. Just unseen, and far quieter than you ever have been. There's a first time for everything, I suppose.

Thank you for the laughs we shared, the pizza we ate, the snowmen we built, and the Nerf guns you bought us every Christmas.

I miss you endlessly. Always and forever, your baby sister x