C
Company
Is there any truer saying than ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, whatever life throws at us, it feels a bit easier to cope with when we’re not alone. Find your company and keep them close, whether that's old friends, new friends, family, colleagues or an online community. Suicide loss can be isolating, finding company that understands what you’re going through is a comfort. If you’re reading this and want your friends and family to know how to support your loss more, direct them to this conversation guide or send them links to your favourite lived experience story.
Counselling
First things first, let's do some myth busting - counselling or therapy is not just for people with poor mental health. Counselling is all about talking openly, in a safe space to understand ourselves more. It can be a very useful process to go through after suicide loss which is why we built our service. Counselling can also be inaccessible because of the cost so we wanted to be able to provide people that level of support through the charity. It won’t be for everyone and for those that it is, it’s only part of the journey, but talking to a professional about all your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to process your grief.
Courage
It takes courage to share your story with the world and by doing so we promise that you will hear a similar story, you’re not going through this alone. Be brave enough to speak about your suicide loss and remember the huge courage it takes to continue after heartbreak and trauma. We are so proud of you and you should congratulate yourself every day for carrying your grief and living your story.
Compassion
Compassion literally means ‘suffer with’, suffering is a word that goes hand in hand with suicide and compassion must stand next to suffering. The person who has died by suicide was likely to be suffering with their mental health, the people who are left behind are suffering their loss. Having compassion for the person you have lost and the pain that they endured can help you to find a way to move forward with your grief. Have compassion for yourself too, your feelings of suffering are valid.
Community
The fact you’re reading this blog should be proof enough that you are not alone and that there is a community that understands what you are experiencing. 34,176 people are directly bereaved by suicide in England & Wales every year and there is a growing community who are ready to share their stories. Here are some of our favourite online communities for you to explore.
Conversation
Conversation is so important that we’ve made a full guide on it! The words we use, the tone we adopt and the environments in which we deliver them really matter. Whether you’ve been bereaved by suicide or are supporting someone who has been bereaved, please open the conversation. Practice makes perfect and if we keep trying to have these conversations we will get better at supporting each other.
CBT
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a type of talking therapy that is used by counsellors and psychotherapists in certain situations. It is a goal orientated way of working where you work with your therapist to take actions and literally change behaviours. A key exercise within it is learning to catch and identify your own thoughts, which sounds simple but is something that most of us don’t do naturally. There is no specific research into the effect of CBT for suicide bereavement, but it’s spoken about that CBT would not be appropriate for the first part of processing grief but could be relevant later. But as we always say, everyone's journey is unique.